It’s so beautiful to live alone! Peng Shujun: Individuality is a must-do in life, practice putting yourself in the center of the world

Note: In his new book "One One Lives From Now", writer Peng Shujun wrote 24 women who have experienced ups and downs in their lives, finally welcomed a better selves and gained a truly free mental journey. In real life, Peng Shujun herself has lived alone for nearly 20 years. She has gained beautiful feelings and small happiness in her heart in the details of her life, and has made her life feel more enjoyable. On the day she got to date with Peng Shujun, she cut off her medium-length hair that had been kept on the shoulder-length length for many years, and it looked much more refreshing and neat.

She laughed and said that she has been fixed for many years I found the same designer to cut my hair. Today I originally planned to do routine sorting. "I didn't expect the designer to cut it very short this time. At first, I almost fainted. Why did I cut it so short? But after watching it for a long time, I felt that it was pretty good."

"It's like in life, we often treat a certain state. Even if it's just a minor change, we may lack motivation or courage. But if you are willing to let go, there may be amazing results." Peng Shujun said.

Now is the best time for women to feel more choices in life

"After the age of 40, I want to be like a French woman. This means not how to dress up or eat or use, but a state of mind: their beauty does not follow certain rules or the eyes of others, but knows how to show their own uniqueness. , beautiful and comfortable. ”

Peng Shujun believes that many people may not be confident when they are young: maybe it is because of insufficient training in life, or their personal value and attitude towards life, but after about 35 years old and after getting some links, they often feel more about life and understand themselves better.

In Peng Shujun's new book "One Lives From Now", the heroines in the story have their own experiences: they may be betrayal or harm, lose themselves in the appearance of happiness, or lose themselves in a relationship. The same is that after talking to themselves, gaining enlightenment or getting a sense of time, they truly gain inner comfort and peace.

Peng Shujun said that "Live One from Now" is not a love novel, but a matter of "female self-view": "I think women are actually in the best era in history. Modern women can work, not necessarily get married, and have more rights to choose. Many people don't think they are lying in traditional concepts."

The best state is emotional independence but not lonely

Regarding the "Live One", Peng Shujun laughed that he is a wealthy person who has been in the past 20 years. "In fact, I always like a person's state, or say: most of my interests are more suitable for one person." Whether she has been writing and reading for many years, or she likes walking, sitting quietly, listening to music, or even traveling, Peng Shujun likes a person.

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"When a person does these things, you will feel free, unstoppable, and do not need to go to others. I like to use a metaphor: human life is like a river. Sometimes you may have a meeting with others, so your life is different, but in the end, you still have to go to yourself. With the final ocean flowing. I think for everyone, learning how to live by one person is a must-have in life. ”

Peng Shujun believes that the state of true maturity and freedom should be: one person can be free and happy; but when another person appears, he can also enjoy this state. "Emotional independence does not mean that one person is alone."

"I am a person who needs a lot of time, but this does not mean that I do not need emotional connection: I have friends who make friends, irreplaceable family, cats, and even if I have a suitable love opportunity, I will not refuse it. But many times, love is in another If you look for the part you want and lack, if you are in a very complete and balanced state, you don’t really need (love) to fill in what you need. ”

A beautiful daily life is more pleasant to build your own life

We ask Peng Shujun, are there some small rituals that can bring fun or pleasure in the daily life of a person?

"I heard a saying: If you live a good life, you will become a beautiful person. I really think this is true." For example, even if you buy food outside and go home, Peng Shujun will definitely put them carefully in a beautiful bowl. The feeling of dining in this way will be completely different.

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Peng Shujun used to buy flowers in a flower shop and go home to decorate them. Sometimes he inserted it into a flower bouquet, and sometimes he also admired the beauty of the flowers. "But now, because there are cats at home, some flowers are toxic to them and worry about eating them, so I switched to the leaves and had the same effect. The actual focus is: in life, add things to make me feel encouraging."

After getting up every morning, Peng Shujun would talk to the world in his heart, wishing that today is a safe and happy day, and then reading Jin Xiaoju. "It's not about religion, but I like the meaning contained in the article, which also helps calm down during the reading process."

In addition, Peng Shunjun also likes to walk around alone. "I like the feeling of being completely in my hands and going wherever I want. Sometimes I will drive the car on the mountain, then pull down the window to breathe fresh air, or hear the sound of the forests.. ”

"I think part of the external environment comes from the inner projection. If you are in a comfortable state, you will also like the world you see more."

Are you living more comfortable and happy than 5 years ago?

Tender people often have strong inner self. Peng Shujun, who often smiles and looks gentle, actually has a strong and powerful spirit.

She believes that women should have independence in four different aspects: economy, life, thoughts and emotions. "Either you have to rely on others or not, economic independence is definitely the first priority; independence in life covers daily affairs: from small lights to large moving houses, you can solve them by yourself."

Independence in thought is to begin to recognize your position in this world and know clearly what you like and want; emotional independence is the most difficult thing: happiness is not necessarily about relying on someone, but confirming your own balance and integrity. At this time, it can be easier to accept others while maintaining an independent self. "I think the best state of a relationship should be that two people are independent but can achieve each other."

She laughed, "Although I don't need men's care or say I've been breaking some old ideas, it doesn't mean I want to live like a man. I still like it. Dress yourself up beautifully and gentlely, enjoy the feminine characteristics you have, but you have the ability to be no more lust than men in all aspects. "

Regarding the matter of living a relaxed and relaxed life, Peng Shujun provides a self-view indicator: Compared to 5 years ago, am I more comfortable and enjoyable than before? "I feel that as I grow older, I understand: I can be very comfortable with myself. No need to look forward to or wait for others, and put your attention back to your own mind. You will open a completely different world."

If you put yourself in a good position, you can welcome the second half of your life without a chance. Did Peng Shujun, who lived alone for many years, ever worry about his life in his later years? Peng Shujun said, "In fact, I really think that I like myself now, and I am far from my youth."

She recalled that a insurance employee promoted products to her and talked about the imaginary situation of "what might happen when I get old." "After I heard it more and more uncomfortable, as if I was old." Later, it is destined to be a sad thing. I don’t want to hold on to this idea in the last few decades of my life. But in contrast, I also pay attention to my health. "She practices calm sitting and yoga every day, and does abdominal breathing before going to bed, so that she can maintain a certain degree of physical fitness.

"If you say that age changes me, you should be confident. I feel like a mimosa when I am young, sensitive and delicate, and it is easy to be influenced by the outside world. Most of the confidence comes from the affirmation of others."

"Now I know better how to behave myself, and my views on many things are no longer limited. If you are relaxed, you can accommodate more in your inner world." Peng Shujun said that if you take care of yourself, you don't have to worry too much about the arrival of your old age.

When you have experienced the various kinds of life, you will come to this moment. For Peng Shujun, the best day is that everything is just right.

Original text: It is so beautiful that a person lives freely and happily! Peng Shujun: Individuality is a must-do in life, practice putting yourself in the center of the world