Ang Lee: "I never teach my children to be filial." Is filial piety a kind of emotional blackmail? 6 ways to get rid of the condom

From childhood to adulthood, we have been influenced by Confucianism and believe that filial piety is a virtue, and the concepts of "filial piety is the first of all virtues" and "no parents in the world" are deeply rooted. Children who are filial are good children, so we must listen to their parents. This also means that no matter how your parents treat you, you must be filial. If you are not filial, you will be morally inferior. In this regard, Ang Lee put forward different opinions on filial piety, believing that children should not be slandered by filial piety morality. "Filial piety is a timely concept. I never teach children to be filial, I only teach them to love."

Ann Li: Filial piety is a timely concept. I never teach my children to be filial piety

And many parents also like to often put "filial piety" around their mouths. If they are not moved, they will blackmail their children's affection, "How much money did I spend to nourish you", "If you are not smooth, you will be unfilial", "I will nourish you, and this is what you owe me", "If you grow up, your wings will become hard." It seems that children are the accessories of parents. As long as they are not willing to respond and do not report them, they are ruthless and should be despised by the public. Under such social pressure, do you dare to be unfilial?

As the times change, many parents do not get pregnant and give birth because they really love their children. Some give birth to children in order to get pregnant and give birth without any precautions. Some parents even commit violence against their children, so that their children grow up in fear; or they just want to suck the blood of their children (such as Zhang Shaohan was squeezed 100 million by his mother); should children be as filial to such parents? On the contrary, if a child grows up in a environment full of love and goodness, then when he grows up, he will naturally report his parents' care in his own way.

Lebanese poet Borren: "Your children are not yours. They are born from you, but they do not come from you. Even though they are with you, they do not belong to you. You can give them love, but don't give your thoughts to them, because they have their own ideas."

International director Ang Lee once said after filming "The Wedding Banquet" many years ago:

"If you have a relationship with your parents, you can love each other, and there is no need to create a level of concept. You must serve the older ones in small ways. But everyone is a body, you must respect him, his gender orientation, his love, and you must respect and accept anything about him. This is a basis for peace.

I think "filial piety" is a timely concept. Of course, I can't talk to the Chinese for hundreds of years, and this is a deeply rooted existence. But in my thoughts, I no longer teach children the "filial piety" thing. As long as he feels my love, he also loves me."

"Filial piety is a timely view", netizens hold different views

Regarding Ang Lee's belief, "Filial piety is a timely view, and I never teach my children to be filial." Yuanqi.com asked the public's opinions on the face fans' page, which attracted widespread comments, and netizens left messages to express their opinions.

. Some netizens agree with Ang Lee’s opinion: “I don’t agree with you, I will not say filial to my children. What family needs is care”, “Children grow up have their own life subjects. Filial piety is a good thing, but it may also be a pressure!”, “I think if parents educate their children well and make them achieve success, it makes sense for you to ask them to nourish you. If it’s just a matter of raising them, the child will be 28k in the future and asks the child to pay for it, it’s actually unreasonable”, “How to treat it is important, see how to treat it in depth.”, "Be filial rather than filial", "Don't just do a lot of things, thank God, and you still hope for filial piety", "Children will think of their parents, this is the result of their teaching. They are so busy that they forget their hometown, it doesn't matter. The elderly themselves must have spiritual support, religious beliefs, volunteering, elderly associations, community colleges..., don't always think about filial piety for their daughters." "You have no problem with filial piety for your children, provided that you have enough love and respect for your children? Are people good for each other?"

. Some netizens have different opinions about filial piety: "What is filial piety? Don't worry or worry about your parents when you grow up when you start a family or start a business. This is filial piety. It's not that you give your parents good food, use good food, and give them money is filial piety. Don't make mistakes. Parents do not ask for a reply for their daughters." "Filial piety = respect and kindness, and scrutiny = serving, and scrutiny should not be reversed. There is filial piety first and then the order of scrutiny cannot be reversed. Modern people are easy to implement and the latter are not difficult. Of course, filial piety and those who are filial piety must be matched. Therefore, we cannot use a single-sided explanation. "Children do not need to be filial, but they still need to respect their elders. They must read books carefully, work hard in the future, and be responsible for their own attitudes and behaviors." "Being able to know how to take good care of yourself and be able to live in harmony with others and colleagues at work is filial piety", "I will teach my children to be filial, but if you want to listen, you will be filial. It is inevitable that you will be strong. If you save your money yourself, you need filial piety. Don't come and get money from me, I'll be filial." "Filial piety is not nature, it requires education, and it is an education that is better than words."

. Some netizens do not agree with Ang Lee’s opinion: “I don’t agree, but I must redefine filial piety at any time”, “There is no mistake in filial piety, nor is it an old concept. What is wrong is the attitude of 'fool filial piety'", “When? Although I have not been stuck around my mouth, I always have expectations in my heart. Part of whether a child should be filial is the foundation. Quality is partly the inheritance of the concept. It can only be said that there is no hope on the surface, but there must be hope in the heart! ", "I don't know when the young people have become unsuitable for the elderly! Children only consider their own feelings and their sense of responsibility has become weaker." "I don't agree. Since I am unfilial, don't inherit the inheritance.. 18 years old, adult, move out by yourself! ", "If you don't teach filial piety, it's hard to teach him not to be filial", "Then what? Don't talk about this casually if you become a vegetative person or are seriously ill."

A netizen also joked that it is now "Parents should be filial to their daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law."

6 ways to solve the problem when encountering emotional blackmail

What is emotional blackmail? Why do some netizens think that filial piety is a kind of emotional blackmail, and how can they get rid of the condom?

The concept of emotional blackmail comes from psychological therapist Su Shan. Forward's book "Emotional Blackmail" refers to "a person uses your emotions and feelings to control your behavior and convince you to see things the way they do." When encountering parental blackmail, the following 6 methods are recommended to help solve problems in relationships with parents:

1. Seeking balance and understanding: Try to understand parents' perspectives and expectations, while maintaining respect for your own values and needs. Find a balance point where you can achieve mutual understanding through communication and dialogue.

2. Energetic communication with parents: open and honest communication with parents to express your feelings, needs and position. Talk with respect and understanding and find common solutions.

3. Set healthy borders: establish clear personal borders and express your boundaries. Tell your parents clearly what behaviors you cannot accept and protect your mental health.

4. Seeking professional support: If the situation becomes difficult, you can consider professional psychological guidance or family therapy. Professionals can provide guidance and support to help you deal with emotional blackmail issues with your parents.

5. Ask for outside assistance: communicate with friends, relatives or support groups, and share your difficulties and feelings. These people can give you emotional support and advice and help you deal with emotional blackmail challenges.

6. Cultivate a sense of self-value: Learn to value your own views and needs, and not let your parents' emotional blackmail affect your understanding of your value. Find sources of self-affirmation and love, and establish an intense sense of self-value.

These methods may require time and effort, and also depend on personal circumstances and relationship dynamics. It is important to maintain respect and love while ensuring your physical and mental health. If the situation is serious or continues to trouble you, it is a wise choice to seek professional help from a psychologist.